The best books that will change your mind about success

When I read this heart-wrenching, poignant memoir about the devastating costs that comes with pushing yourself to live up to others’ expectations, I felt like I was watching part of my life’s story from a bird’s-eye view.

As a daughter of immigrants, I grew up being told that success was conditional on my being exceptional, no matter the cost. But when we tell people that their mental health, community, love, relationships, and compassion come secondary to living up to others’ expectations, it isn’t success at all. A must-read for all, but especially for anyone who has had to contend with the Model Minority Myth as a core definition of success.

How great would the story of an inspiring, successful entrepreneur and venture capitalist be if it was about a Black, gay, formerly unhoused woman who is building the next hundred million dollar company?

That’s exactly who Arlan Hamilton is, and with gems like “I pattern match for grit” about her investing strategy, I couldn’t put this book down. It redefines the idea that successful entrepreneurs only come from elite Ivy League institutions or build legacies in their parents’ garages. 

At a time when so many of us feel helpless while navigating various social crises, Ijeoma’s latest book highlights amazing leaders who are literally creating revolutionary social change. She interviews leaders tackling issues from the prison industrial complex to how we spend money more intentionally.

After reading this book, I felt like I, too, could “be” a change. I felt inspired to believe that my success, and the success of the world, depends on the everyday revolutionary acts of anti-racism we can (and should) all commit to.

While I loved the interviews with each changemaker, it was reading how Ijeoma’s approach from pain and trauma to action evolved throughout the book that really drove the message home. 

Dr. Blackstock’s advocacy for equity and access during the COVID-19 pandemic made her a hero in my eyes, and I was eagerly awaiting her memoir! I read it in one weekend. It’s compelling, heartbreaking, and, in parts, deeply devastating when you’re shown firsthand the huge health disparities in this country.

It’s tragic to see how some people are given immediate access to health care while others are systematically denied it on the basis of their skin color. The racism Dr. Blackstock has to navigate in her career as a Black physician and academic doctor is heartbreaking, but the overall story is one of triumph and resilience.

Dr. Blackstock is an incredibly inspiring character, but the ultimate heroine is their late mother, whose training at Harvard Medical School led to her twin daughters becoming the first Black mother-daughter legacies from the school. This book reminded me that success doesn’t come from going to a brand-name school or workplace but from creating access and equity in communities that have for so long been excluded.

I devoured this book in one night–yes, one night–because I couldn’t put it down. The idea that we are worthy even when we’re not productive and don’t need to “earn” rest? Mind blown!

I’ve never actively thought about how my worth has been defined by society based on my outward accolades and achievements, but when I read this book, I was 100% changed. I learned how systems of oppression make rest so much harder, even impossible, for marginalized communities, and only when we rest do we have the ability to fully show up as our true selves and for our communities. We don’t have to grind to the bone and burn out to make change. What could be a more profound definition of success?